I am often left wondering why people get in to a relationship no matter how bad they are being treated in that relationship. I find it hard to understand why we often do what the other wants even though we know we are giving up everything we want and our happiness. Quite funnily we end up cursing everyone close to us including our family and friends when they try to help.
Just sometime back, sanity remained the way of thinking. Soon when we get in to a relationship (close friendship ?), things suddenly become so wonderful for us. Then come the fights which become more regular and sillier and it leads to stupidity revealing itself.
And when we fight, it takes two people to compromise. But when you start to change major things about yourself without the other changing, then it becomes a habit. Soon all the other will expect from you is change. You can nolonger be yourself.
Eventually for most of us, changing becomes so easy that we have started to believe that we do everything in the name of love/friendship and nothing that anyone says would change the person we have become. In the end it will only cause us to loose everyone who really cares for us.
It is time to realise that there are so many around you, who do not ask you to change simply because you are perfect the way you are.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Friday, December 22, 2006
Ethics - Means ?
Ethics - What does it mean ?
As per http://m-w.com/dictionary/ethics
2 a : a set of moral principles : a theory or system of moral values : the principles of conduct governing an individual or a groupc : a guiding philosophy d : a consciousness of moral importance 3 plural : a set of moral issues or aspects (as rightness)
Stephen Covey talks about two broad categories of ethics; Character Ethics and Personailty Ethics.
The character Ethics taught that there are basic principles of effective living and the people can experience only true success and enduring happiness as they learn and integrate these principles in their basic character.
As per the personality ethic, success became more as a function of personality, of public image, of attitudes and behaviours, skills and techniques, that lubricate the processes of Human Interaction.The personality approach is clearly manipulative, even deceptive, encouraging people to use "techniqueues" to get other people to like them or to fake interest in others to get out of them what they wanted or to use the "power look" or to use intimidate their way through life.
If one tries to use Human influence strategies and tactics of how to get other people to do what he/she wants, to work better, to be more motivated , to like him/her and eachother - while his/her character is fundementally flawed, marked by duplicity and insincerity - then in the long run he/she cannot be successfull.
Their duplicity will breed distrust and everything they do - even using so-called good Human relation techniques - will be perceived as manipulative. It simply makes no difference how good the rhetoric is or even how good the intentions are; if there is little or no trust, there is no foundation for permanent success. Only basic goodness gives life to "technique".
However we cannot altogether discard the elements of personality ethic - personality growth, communication skill training, and education in the field of influence strategies and positive thinking. They are sometimes essential for success. But one should realise that they are only secondary traits not primary traits.
In utilising the Human capacity to build on the foundation of generations before us, we have inadvertently become so focussed on our own building that we have happily forgotten the "foundation" that holds it up.
In most one-shot or short-lived Human Interactions, you can use the personality ethic to get by and to make favourable impressions through charm and skill and pretending to be interested in others hobbies. You can pickup quick, easy techniques that may work in short-term situations, But secondary traits alone have no permanent worth in long-term relationships.
Eventually if there isn't deep integrity and fundamental character strength, the challenges of life will cause the true motives to surface and human relationship failure will replace any short-term success.
In short what we are communicates far more eloquently than anything we say or do.
(Extracts from "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey).
As per http://m-w.com/dictionary/ethics
2 a : a set of moral principles : a theory or system of moral values : the principles of conduct governing an individual or a group
Stephen Covey talks about two broad categories of ethics; Character Ethics and Personailty Ethics.
The character Ethics taught that there are basic principles of effective living and the people can experience only true success and enduring happiness as they learn and integrate these principles in their basic character.
As per the personality ethic, success became more as a function of personality, of public image, of attitudes and behaviours, skills and techniques, that lubricate the processes of Human Interaction.The personality approach is clearly manipulative, even deceptive, encouraging people to use "techniqueues" to get other people to like them or to fake interest in others to get out of them what they wanted or to use the "power look" or to use intimidate their way through life.
If one tries to use Human influence strategies and tactics of how to get other people to do what he/she wants, to work better, to be more motivated , to like him/her and eachother - while his/her character is fundementally flawed, marked by duplicity and insincerity - then in the long run he/she cannot be successfull.
Their duplicity will breed distrust and everything they do - even using so-called good Human relation techniques - will be perceived as manipulative. It simply makes no difference how good the rhetoric is or even how good the intentions are; if there is little or no trust, there is no foundation for permanent success. Only basic goodness gives life to "technique".
However we cannot altogether discard the elements of personality ethic - personality growth, communication skill training, and education in the field of influence strategies and positive thinking. They are sometimes essential for success. But one should realise that they are only secondary traits not primary traits.
In utilising the Human capacity to build on the foundation of generations before us, we have inadvertently become so focussed on our own building that we have happily forgotten the "foundation" that holds it up.
In most one-shot or short-lived Human Interactions, you can use the personality ethic to get by and to make favourable impressions through charm and skill and pretending to be interested in others hobbies. You can pickup quick, easy techniques that may work in short-term situations, But secondary traits alone have no permanent worth in long-term relationships.
Eventually if there isn't deep integrity and fundamental character strength, the challenges of life will cause the true motives to surface and human relationship failure will replace any short-term success.
In short what we are communicates far more eloquently than anything we say or do.
(Extracts from "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey).
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)