Finally its happening.. I wanted to do it almost 2 years back.. Circumstances, Economy slow down, Frozen Job Market delayed it... Hmm.. Enough excuses.. I should accept that something inside did not allow me to come out of the Comfort zone. A zone I built over a period of last Six years.. Having mastered the techniques and processes at work place in the initial few years, I was kind of relaxed rather lost direction, lacked focus and drive in adding True value to me in last couple of years.
The Recognitions earned, "Outstanding" Performance ratings appear to be of little value to me now.. I believe they helped a lot to build that lethal comfort zone.
If I start my retrospection, I am sure I will have a long list of things for which I have to blame myself. I can't go to the past and make corrections.
After informing my decision to the current Employer, the kind of proposals my mangers came up with were really amazing. I should admit that I was caught by surprise. I am wondering if those proposals would have come to me had I not chosen to resign from the services of the company. I doubt if I would have ever thought of moving out if my concerns were addressed in time. But managements are mostly "reactive" when it comes to handling People.
Though the rewards proposed by Current employer are better than the offer I have in hand, I still decided to move out sticking to my original decision. I simply do not want to let go the opportunity to come out of my comfort zone.
I feel I need to be tested for whatever I claim. Unless I prove my abilities with suitable challenges, there will always be a sense of shallowness and a intriguing Question about my self worthiness. After all I don't believe that money/rewards I earn is always a true reflection of my abilities.
In case I accept their proposals and withdraw my resignation, in future, even if least of the their commitments (my expectations) was not met, I may look like a fool. I could not blame anyone but me. I did not want to repeat my past mistakes again.
I am proud of what I had done. And I often read the following lines (in Tamil) just to reassure myself that my decision was right. :-)
எண்ணித் துணிக கருமம் துணிந்தபின்
எண்ணுவ மென்பது இழுக்கு.
Just hoping to see greener pastures on the other side.
And its time to move on.