I am often left wondering why people get in to a relationship no matter how bad they are being treated in that relationship. I find it hard to understand why we often do what the other wants even though we know we are giving up everything we want and our happiness. Quite funnily we end up cursing everyone close to us including our family and friends when they try to help.
Just sometime back, sanity remained the way of thinking. Soon when we get in to a relationship (close friendship ?), things suddenly become so wonderful for us. Then come the fights which become more regular and sillier and it leads to stupidity revealing itself.
And when we fight, it takes two people to compromise. But when you start to change major things about yourself without the other changing, then it becomes a habit. Soon all the other will expect from you is change. You can nolonger be yourself.
Eventually for most of us, changing becomes so easy that we have started to believe that we do everything in the name of love/friendship and nothing that anyone says would change the person we have become. In the end it will only cause us to loose everyone who really cares for us.
It is time to realise that there are so many around you, who do not ask you to change simply because you are perfect the way you are.
4 comments:
Bang on..
you are perfect what you are !
Interesting...
Here are my thoughts abt this topic..
No two induviduals can have similar interests and be perfect in everything they do. And quite naturally unlike poles attract each other. Giving and taking and mutual understanding is a must for every successful relation. If you want to term this 'Giving' as losing your identity, then probably you may have made a wrong choice. Do not mistake my words... giving cld mean anything. If you are willingly giving up something for a reasonable cause be happy about it. You may have arguments and argue to disagree about many things... this happens even with our parents right(even after 17 yrs min of being cared and loved by our parents!!!) So how can we expect this not to happen in a fresh relation. The challenge only lies in how u get along with these mismatches and arguments.
Silly fights and stupidity revealing itself has been recorded in 'Akanaanooru' ages ago by Tamil poets... Oodal...koodal... ithellaaam sagajamappa. How else will there be variety and spice in life!
When u want to fight regularly, it is obvious that u cannot fight over a valid reason rite ;-)
So after the fight...think back later and smile over the stupidity.
If you really know wat ur real identity is, with the right partner you will not feel that you have lost your identity. When you are calm and settled if you are able to appreciate this, then you can be proud and congratulate urself for having made the rite partner choice
:-)
Miru
Thanks for the comments Miru.
I agree with you especially on the words,
"If you really know wat ur real identity is, with the right partner you will not feel that you have lost your identity."
I have no complaints about wllingly giving up something for a reasonable cause. Infact I would encourage it. But this is not the case often. :-(
"Sithiramum kai pazhakkam... Senthamizhum naa pazhakkam!"
The above statement does not necessarily mean you have to make many attempts in love. You can try your hands at evaluating yourself and ur needs and improve on understanding the inner identity of your counterpart before making any big decisions. Just a suggestion... it may or may not work out. But this is also some kind of personality test for every induvidual :-)
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